the fence

Yesterday, we were playing frisbee, and as usual i wasn't into the sport. So i walked off to a big tree right beside the fence bordering some person's backyard. I thought he wouldn't notice or count me in the game at all. but he did, and the frisbee flew to me. Now i'm only 5'2 and the frisbee was soaring in the sky, so ofcourse i wouldn't have caught it so it obviously flew over the fence, to that unknown somebody's backyard. I felt so bad at that instant because i always messed things up whenever he tried to include me in something. i almost wished that he would just ignore me and let me be alone.
well not surprisingly, the first thing he said was "whatever ill get a new one", because he was that type of person. i could hear from his tone of voice that he was actually kind of sad about the frisbee, so i tried to look through the fence to see where it fell. i wanted to say sorry, but knowing myself, i am unable to say the most important things. he saw and seemed to gain motivation, and in two minutes we found the location of the frisbee. then he suggested the crazy idea of climbing over the fence. i was a coward of course so i suggested ringing the house owner's doorbell. obviously, that was bothersome to him, and without saying anything, he started climbing over the fence. now, the fence was about twice my height, maybe even higher. i was scared for him when he started climbing. unfortunately, as he was getting over, he lost his footing and fell on some bushes and tree branches. my heart literally jumped for a second, and i was unable to watch. i didn't even have the courage to ask if he was okay. luckily, he said he was fine and he climbed back on our side after he retrieved his frisbee. the last jump down to the grass was marvelous, but i was scared for both his life and my heart.
i don't know how to feel about all this really because i thought i was over this feeling, but i was really worried when he fell on his back. not just normal worry, but scared for life worry. i've got no one to talk to about all this because even i dont understand myself. how would anyone begin to understand me?